Saturday, June 02, 2007

Sliding....

I am a great pretender... something I can proudly say... and I think I have bad mood swings, even worse then girls during their period, coz mine can come as and went it wants. Friendless? cannot blame, its me attitude to blame.

Just got back from band prac moments ago, was such a strong section last week, and this week only down to me and karen. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE REST!!! haha... I know wl have NDP, so thats ok... But well, its ok lah... I guess everyone have their own plans, and I won't be back for long too... just till I can get back into the water lah. 2 things that can really cast my trouble aside, making music and sports (DRAGONBOAT!!!). Was feeling ok just now, till pehaps after band ended... when things rosed again from within. Jac jioed ktv, and for the first time, there was no excitement. So I gave it a miss and now i am home. Guess I will be thinking too much if I say "hope they dun think i am anti social" haha, the very low confidence Ryan is back to find me again. Donno what hit me to make me feel this way in the first place. Time to look at myself again.

Yesterday went out with the guys, namely Max and Azre, and later on met up with Tuan and partner. Would say its alright lah, but as they met for the sole purpose of introduction, thus there wasn't much to do, and was damn odd lor. Haiz, dun feel comfortable at all, felt PART OF IT... which is not what I want to feel... Know its all for fun laughter peace and joy, but I guess in public, its too much for me to handle lah. Thou its been so many times, I am still no used to it.... and I guess I will never get used to it.

Haiz... that all ba, today went to the physio in the morning, didn't make much progress, kinda disappointed. But given green light to swim already. Another item I can do!!! woohoo!!! will strenghten my arms and hopefully will see results in 3 weeks time... wish me luck... RYAN!!! WHERE ARE YOU!!!

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Shoo... Moody go away!!!

Not sure what I am up to? Just feeling really moody, started today, weird that its on a PH, or rather could be because of this PH. Everything seems very wrong today, I don't know why but nothing seems to go well for me today. Lonely once more...

Today, head down to the gym, first thing on my "To Do" list as I missed it yesterday (due to band prac). After which, was bored and didn't want to go home, so went down down town for a walk and catch a glimps of GSS since it started. Was initally planning to meet Herbert for a movie in the afternoon (since he complained that the is losing life to army), but sudden plan change to the evening kinda puts me off (guess he is tired). Tried getting my regular kakis out, but they were busy with their own activities, while others are just too tired from clubbing the night before. So me, Ryan, walked around town alone again, not the first time neither. Something I pretty much enjoyed doing lah at times. About 6ish, was deciding to go back when herbert decided to come down. However we didn't meet up, why? coz my bloody phone decided to DIE on me. So No Phone = Lost in the third dimension. Rushed home to get it charge and stuck home after. Caught 50 first dates, still so nice thou its not the first time i watched it. Will be catching Ocean 11 later.

I am losing its again, the same feeling that is pestering me begining this year is back to haunt me. I don't know whats making me feel this way, but I donno how to get rid of it. Another isolation phrase? someone to talk to? who? I have alot of friends and I am sure they are willing to lend me a listening ear, but I donno even know whats bothering me to start with. It fustrates me sometimes...GOD!!!

I am bossy, that I have to admit, but there are people that can be bossy without guilt and some people that bossy and feel guilty after. I belong in the 2nd type, I will do something and den soon after reflect and think what is going through the other person's mind. You can call that thinking too much, but I dun want it, honestly, if I can get rid of it, I am more then happy to dump it. But unfortunately, I don't know how. Its going to be another tough month ahead, I forsee it already...

Why do I keep going through such thing? why? I don't use to have such things, seems to creep into me ever since my sister crossed over? Did my sister used to feel such things? so I inherited this emotions? I realised that ever since my sister's crossing, I have change in many ways. Apart from the growing up part, I kinda taken the role as both a son and a "daughter" to my parents. No that I have turn feminie thou, just that I became a little more emotional, and more gentle in some sense. That kinda made me weak get into "the state" pretty easily i guess. Mr. Moody, please go away soon....

Will there be a rainbow tml?

Monday, May 28, 2007

Birthday filled weekend...

This weekend is all about BIRTHDAYS!!! as we have birthday three days straight... Friday, ADELINE BIRTHDAY, Saturday, NAVIN BIRTHDAY, Sunday, MY MUMMY BIRTHDAY!!! hehez... so to everyone that had their birthday... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Its have not only been a birthday weekend, but one that I have been having a havoc... lets start off Friday. Met up with 4 beauties for dinner (namely Irene, Jac, Karen and Trisa, guess its only me that will get this privilege lah...heez) Went to Raku Restaurant, ALL MY FELLOW BLOGGERS, for your own good... DO NOT GO THERE IF U ARE PLANNING A GOOD NIGHT OUT!!! coz I certainly didn't enjoy the experience there one bit. The food ain't fantastic (but wasn't horrible, still edible lah), other than the ambience of the place, there is really nothing acceptable of the place. Its has got to be the place with the worse service attitude so far, of all the place I have been to in town that is. You get better service in Kopitiam lah!!! so angry... But in such great company, I try to keep my cool, and we had lots to talk about. After that, everyone seems to be in the vibes for a little KTV and we did. Would say its pretty enjoyable, and pretty stressful, as everyone was such good singers and me being a noob at my worse form... haha but I had fun lah... Left the place at 3 am, and keenan (Jac bf) came to fetch the ladies off, I took a little stroll in town before heading home. Town at 3 am isn't exactly as "ghostly" as I tot, its still pretty buzzing with activities at some corners of streets and all. Reached home at 4ish, showered waited for my hair to dry and finally hit the sack at close to 5am.

Saturday, got up at 10 ish, its became so routine that I watch up at that time everyday that no matter how late i sleep i will wake at that time. Went for band practise, wasn't that bad, got close to a full section and was once again the strongest section present... haha. After band prac we all meet at MS Kenny Rogers for a little dinner and "mini celebration" for Adeline. But somehow I guess that evening was not too well planned as there was not plans after dinner. Still we managed to have a little chit chatting session over at Rocky Masters. After that was home, but I went for my buddy Navin party at Gotham. The party was alright, haven't club in a very long while but it was great, thou I am sure there won't be one in a long time to come. Ended the evening at 5am ish, got a cab back in the wee hours of the morning. DEAD after...

Sunday, got up super late (say 1ish in the afternoon) haha must be the booze lah... desperately searching for water and all... Just reminded me why I hate clubbing in the first place. my vest and cap STINK BIG TIME of smoke and all man... had to air it out the entire day. Spent the rest of the day hydrating myself and stoning. Gave mum a big fat ang bao, as I always say, if you donno what to get, best is to let her get it herself. hahaha LOVE U MUM!!!

That pretty much sums up my bithday filled weekend. Later will be trying to lose some of the calories gained over the weekend in the gym... Decision more or less make for uni lah. just waiting for the papers to arrive, which is takeing forever lah. Alright den... shall update soon... CHEERS