Thank You!

Woo... seem that my spur of the moment blog of got a disscussion going, well I am alright, it was that moment when I need to get things sorted out and vent them out somewhere. But hey, at least I know that my tagboard is working, haha at times its been left untouched for so long that I wonder if it malfunction. hehez... so keep tagging me K! love to get more view and opinions on ways I can improve.

Well, this recent weeks have been a smooth "healing" one for me I must say, both on my physical and "emotional" ones, managed to have plenty sort out. And I realise that people around me do care, I was wrong to have assumed a battle fought alone is better as I didn't want to burden friends with my problems. But hey, what happen was I talked things out, without putting any burden on my friends and we can actually have a conversation about it, which is stress-free and well pretty much lighten my own load. I am really thankful, I truly am. But well, its seems that during this period, many of my other friends are facing some problem of their own. Well, being "past" (hopefully) my personal barrier, and being someone that have gone past that stage for this new year, I am hoping I will be able to help them walk out of that circle too... so guys, if you all ever need a listening ear or someone to talk to... CALL ME K!!!

Alright enough about those, let me just talk abit on my past couple of days. Thursday, a suprise party was planned for angie, I was glad that most people was able to make it, and I could tell angie enjoyed herself. For me, its more like a gathering of friends, coz I practically knew everyone there haha. The night ended in a pretty sudden note actually, haha as angie got abit too much "gas" from all the down down that she have been getting from that night and start puking. So we decided to call it a night and sent her home. On my way back, have a good long chat with Jayson. He read my blog, and gave me some wise advise, which really open up alot of myself. Sorry about the "hard to merge in" part Jays, I guess its just my personal insecurity, but now I am sure we are alright, hopefully I can get out of that barrier soon. Hehe thanx alot man. Yesterday, was shopping day for me, after thursday, hearing all that "victory moment" Jays had "battling" the shopping heaven Shanghai, I really needed some retail therpy. So i went far east to do some shopping with Trisa and Karen. And boy did we had good timing, it was midnight shopping throughout town (now happening every last friday of the month, guess its been awhile just that I haven't paid close enough attention). But well we really hopped from one shop to another. Not suprise that most of the stuff are ladies apparels, there is still a couple with interesting guys stuff. But I suppose I need to change my image abit to fit into some of them. haha. But overall, the trip was a success. Managed to bag a "full attire" (meaning a top and a bottom). Contented but not satisfied, my next stop will be Bugis Village! maybe tml? hmm we will see... haha

I hate my shoulder, after the last dislocation, my mind went back to the shut down mode, which total shuts of my motivation of exercising. The last time this happened, I gain 4 kg, however, thats with the 3 trips that so happening to provide so much good food in the way. Nevertheless, I am desperately trying not to have a history in the making, trying to get my engine up again before CNY comes, which is a definate weight gaining period. Well wish me luck! Alright then, thats all I have for the day, heading off for a paddle already. Shall blog some other time. Don't forget to tag yah! Cheer people!

What people thinks? Y bother?

This blog is pretty much a spur of a moment thing. So yeah, too much thought troubles me, so I better vent some of it here.Why do people care about how others look at them so much? I am one of the guilty party. Yes, I enjoy attention, but only the positive ones, but all I have been getting are all the negative ones... is there something wrong with the way I present myself? Am I doing things wrong?

Its back on the topic of being GAY again. Why do t-shirt and jeans on a guy that is big size and muscular be called manly, and on me, so Gay? Izit because of appearance? Not being tanned enough? the way we carry ourselves? I really wonder man. Sometimes I do take it as a compliment know that guys with abit more "girly" side tend to have better dress sense. But there is a certain level of tolerance. I do dragonboat, so do many others, but why am I the only one getting all this comments? Pretty sick and tired of it lor, to be honest. Walking down then street, people glancing you from head to toe. Some might be admiring my dress sense, but some simply thinks otherwise. I am not saying this out of jumping to conclusion, it happened and I almost snapped. Was walking down the street dressed casually in t-shirt and jeans, nothing special, this 2 ladies walk passed me... glance at me very carefully, and as they walked passed me, I overheard one telling the other "Confirm not straight". That not the only time that day, later that day, it happened again, this time its "Gay with the capital G". I REALLY DONNO WHATS WRONG!!! If anyone can tell me please just tell me...

Enough on that, was talking to jac about relationships (as in BGR). Is it true that girls goes for bad boys? and only after they had their fun and all, that decent guy get their chance in a relationship. I know its pretty unfair for girls to make such a statements, but I mean its not said with no valid backups. I seem many cases of girls crying over guys, that really, I have no idea why. The guy dun really treat them good, but yet, girls goes head over heels for this guys... Some guys (like myself) just don't get it I suppose. What women really want? In my camp days, this is what the "experienced" guys told me:

Girls aged >21 --> Good Looks, Hot Bods, "Bad Ass" Attitude = Character, Love period
Girls aged btw 21 to 25 --> Good Looks, not neccessary hot bods (as long not fat), not much on love, pretty much career (more of the show me the money phrase).

I donno how true it is thou, well I suppose it goes with trend and TV really do make a big influence, especially on the drama they have been coming out with. Jap, Korean, Taiwan... all sort, Jap guys tend to have the more bad ass "cannot be bothered" attitude, but occasionally concern melts gers away type of character. Taiwan is 100% dependant on looks. Guess the most famous now will be Korean I suppose, the soft spoken, well mannered, gentle and really good to girls type. A hit with all gers, and with looks to die for of course. For that, I really haven't a clue on what to do man.

Do tag your views on my 2 issues man... Really want to hear differnt point of view on this. Cheers.

Life is short and unpredictable... cherish while u can...

To think that 2007 is off to a bad start for me, was flooded with questions, causing massive mood shifts, and really horrible feeling. Who can be worse then me? I thought I was the most miserable soul on earth. I was wrong, start of 2007 was bad for me, I admit, but compare to some of my other frens, I am the fortunate one. What right have I got to be complaining about life, and when I say I don't like others to pity me, or care for me, aren't my actions clearly doing exactly opposite? This few weeks of my recovery period, I have learn to accept things and see things in a different propect. And with recent events, it really woke me up from whatever bad feeling I have within. I have supress them once again, and even to the stage of getting rid of some. As things goes by and you u see things in a different point of view, its brings around new life. My mood is like the weather, gloomy before, and now bright as the Sun.

Well what made me say that the start of 2007 is worse to some of my frens, well a number of them are ill, if not injured. One friend of mine, got a fractured right shoulder and also a sprained right ankle. Another is even more serious, she got diagnosed with brain tumour, that was indeed a shocker for me, the news came to me on Saturday, before I went for dragonboat (yes, the season begins again). Got a call from another friend, I was dumbfounded when I first heard the news, she (the patient) have already done the operation, and currently waiting for the result of the lab test. What is my problem compared to theirs? That really "helped" alot in my way of thinking and straighten out alot of path for me. Life is already short enough, so why burden yourself with sad moments. One's life should be filled with happy times, so that when its time you leave this place, you leave with a smile on the face. Its a difficult task to achieve, but as they say, when there is a will, there is a way.

Anyway, back to this friend of mine, went to visit her on sunday. When I first saw her, honestly, I almost couldn't recoginse her. Partly was because her swelling is still in the process of subsiding, but mainly, its because the illness have sucked out all the "sporty spirit" in her. Okok maybe I am being over exaggerating, who can be lively after a major surgery. She still managed to joke with us and all, which is a really good sign. Her road to recovery will be a long one, but with her positive attitude, I am sure it will aid in the healing process. Looking at her, all my so-called "problems" seems so in-significant, there is no room for comparison man. So I have her to thank, for guiding me along a new path.


After kinda settling my problem, life seem somewhat lighter, thou I still kinda lead a loner's life (which I am not complaining), it seems easier for me to go out with my friends now. At least my mind will not wonder elsewhere when I am out, which make me feels bad, and worsen my already bad mood. hehez... I am gonna let bygones be bygones.... close the book for 2006, try to get rid of all the bad memories, and suppress the crazy mood swings. and start 2007 afresh. Hopefully I will no longer hear some terms used on me, will try very hard to change my image and all. Wish me luck. And speedy recovery to my frens... my prayers are with you man... Jia You!!!