Saturday, April 09, 2005

hey there people, been so thought i might use this oppotunity to 'vent my bordem' heez...

Haven't been going out lately, been having invitations but yet rejecting them... guess for this weekend, the main reason lies with having duty to do tommorrow, meaning i have to be in camp the entire day tml... that actaully 'spoiled' my plans for the entire weekend... haha.... easily affected yeah.... u bet!

Sometime i am starting to think, what i am feeling now, is it wat the girls terms as 'mood swing', of course not saying that i have 'that time of the month' juz that i can be happy for a moment and then totally lose it the next... its hard to explain as i myself haven't got an idea why its happening to me... Hate myself at times... Hate myself for being sensitive at times... might be a good things some of u guys say, but well its turns out, its seldom a good thing for me... its always makes me 'yi shen yi gui' [in english it means think nonsensically]...

I no longer have a standard group of frens anymore, frens now i guess comes in phrases of life... they come and go... sad to see them... its seem that my life is revolved in this "phrase frens" and i am at the end of a phase again for some i believe... Sometime i asked myself, why am i always tinking so pessimistically, but many a times i really cannot help it and can't really find an answer to all this problems... its difficult at times to find someone to be there, to listen to u at times... well i mean i know, everyones got to lead their own lives... thats its y i dun really even bother to tell my friends what i am facing, always putting up a strong front when i meet them, acting like everything is alright...

Well sometimes i do miss being a kid again, there is nothing to worries and you are free to dream and do anything i wish... well not saying that i can't dream now... but there is always a part of me that will bring me back to reality from my dreams now... as compared to when i was a kid... Some of my friends say i tink too much, or even think too indepth into minor things, which i completely agree, but i just donno how not to... thats y these things juuz keeps getting stored in my head and then will 'visit' me once in awhile..

Recently, i was depressed... its was something i have never felt before and it was rather awful, its juz felt like everyone have left me, my frens, my family, everyone, and i was the only one left in the world... and everyone around me seems like a stranger to me... i started isolating myself and all... then afterwhile, when i 'realise' the state that i was in, i kinda 'fought' that evil feeling and broke free... then things got back to normal, or so i thought... fragments of the feeling is still with me... and i have been trying very hard to fight it... haha you guys must think that i am going abit 'loose', and i really dun blame u for saying that, cause i am feeling it too... see a shrink perhaps might help... well have been thinking about that for awhile too... maybe i do need professional help, but well when i think of it... i just need someone there to listen to me, give me some advise, encourage me on... haha like a kid yah...

At times, stupid thought like am i deprived? or desperate for a girl to walk into my life... i really wonder... wonder will that day ever come, will that speical someone be there... or where is she... haha... u guy must be laughing at me now... same here, while writing this i am actually laughing at myself deep down inside... what do u people think? At times, when people ask if i got a girlfren, i would juz smile to them, not saying a word, that is because i really donno wat to say... haha, i guess this is still really down to myself i guess... i am too timid in this sort of things, and i am not doing anything about it... haha... But well, sometime i ponder, if i really do have that special someone, will she be paitent enough to take my mood swing, or even will my mood swing vanish once and for all... hahaha, see thinking too much again...

Hmm, writing all this reminds me of one of my course mates from poly last time, she use to do this all the time and send them via email telling people how depressed her life is and how bad her love life is... Am i turning to be like her? OMG, if am i then i should do something about it.. won't want to end up like her... she is sort of a 'nutcase' i would classfied under [not to be rude, but she really is]... Anyway, to all my frens where ever you are... from my past and now in my present... hope you guys dun be offended if anything in this blog have say that might affect you... i am juz venting what that have been kept in me for awhile now... so yah... that all lah... somethings cannot be put into words shall remind in me forever then... Cheers!!!

Friday, April 08, 2005

School of Combat Engineers Anniversary parade

Hey there peepz! its the weekend le... knowing that plenty have of u guys are having your exams if not have already completed ur examz... for those still having exams, all the best and for those that are done, PARTY ON!!! heez... On yah and to those that have finally completed their poly life... hope you guys have really enjoyed urself in these three years, coz when u think back of the many wonderful moments you had... u are gonna miss them man... heez.. i am one living example...

Anyway enough of all the talking, blogging about the week that have went pass in a snap of a finger... heez... this week have passed considerable fast i would say... having monday as an offday [for COG parade] busy even so we weren't left doing nothing though... we had reheasals for yet anot parade, nothing major this time, juzt an anniversary parade for the combat engineers held at seleter camp... On tues we have rehearsals in camp where we settle on the pieces to play... and wednesday was rehearsal at their camp, where we get to fall in late as we leave for their camp late... concurrently we got back to camp late at close to 9 at night... the rehearsal with them was more waiting then actually doing so, and with strange weather [sunny one moment, pouring the next] draining us up, it made the day more tiring for us... Thursday was the actual parade again we went down slightly earlier for one round of rehearsal before the actual... Guess what, the heaven decides to play a prank on us, on the actual, it started raining cats and dogs.. and the brasses and percussion carried on the parade while the woodwind stayed behind fearing there might be damage done to our instrument [which i see no logic at all] anyway... the guys managed to pull the parade off being soaked to the skin, so staff ordered them to take the entire day off while the rest juz took half day off as the rest isn't there... So happy Friday, we falled in at the usual time then proceed to our sports and games, was suppose to take our leave at 12.30, but someting cropped up in the end so we ended up leaving one hour later, doesn't really bother me, as i didn't have plan anyway... once i got home, i was glued to the computer [as usual] then about evening went for a little jog then came back for my 9 o'clock show [that promoting NKF show].

That i guess completes my week, what more can u ask from a ns man right.. haha the life in camp is pretty much fixed... this weekend i have quite a number of frens celebrating their birthday so i thought i wish them HAPPY BIRTHDAY in advance, they are KOK WEE one of my seniors, who is clearing leave to ord, though i donno him well, but hope he have a wonderful birthday, other than that is boon hwa and my bunkmate Kris, who is turning 21 on the 10 of apr, juz wanna wish them happy turning adult and dn watch too much RA yah... heez.. kidding... alright then i guess i conclude my blog here... will be going back tml night or sunday morning for duty.. haha going to have a short weekend this week... heez... u guys enjoy ur weekends then... Sayonara!!!

Monday, April 04, 2005

Wet monday blues

Today is a super duper wet day, luckly its was today and not yesterday if not we would have been drenched for our parade...

Yesterday i had my second COG parade of my NSF life, and the final for those ORD personels like anneson and johnson etc... haiz... really going to miss them... even though i have been in band A for juz a short 2 months, but it feels like i have known this guys for a very long time... haha, anyway backed to the parade, reached camp at about 2.30 (suppose to report by 3.15) so took my time to dress up in bunk, forget to bring my white t-shirt, so borrowed from alvin, thx alot... then after that took a ride up the white house in joel's car... haiz... the good thing about owning a car... heez... after we fall in, there was a sudden change in weather as gust of wind started blowing, and the clouds starts to gather and the weather looks bad, like a storm is approaching... we had a little rehearsal before departing from the whitehouse and by the time we depart, there was a sight drizzle... on the way there, the weather was more to the 'wet and gloomy side' and by the time we reached town, there was already pouring and was in 'strong drizzle' (hee, hope u guys can understand my description of the rain, if not i am simply trying to say it was raining...) heez... When we got there, we waitied in the bus till the rain simmer down, and it wasn't a long wait, as if god have heard our prays, the rain stop and we waited for the guards to arrive... Zhong xi and allison was down there to watch me parade... and by the time we marched off, it was 5.30, sorry to have kept u guys waiting for so long, while waiting to march off, all the ord personel took lotsa photos and savour the final moment as this was their last COG, heez... still long before i could do the same... so yah.... with the shout of command, the parade commence and we marched grandly to istana.... the entire parade took about an hour by the time we reach the other end was 6 plus... and after we got back camp, we got change and went for dinner along adams road (with zhi xun, kris, zhi wei, andrew, boon hua, myself) then after hitched another ride to habourfront where zhi xun return home and i went for a little walk there before heading home on NEL, was so tempted to go into Harry's for a drink though... but didnt' coz i was alone... heez... some other time maybe, the ambience there was good...heez... and that ends off my sunday lah...

Today was off day, but didn't go anywhere (partly because of the weather) and everyone else is not aware i am off so guess they all are busy with individual plans i guess...so had been slacking on the net all day and rotting the day away... will be going back to camp later tonight i guess..... won't want to rush tml... so still decide to stay in for the night... but we are offically lifted from the stay in rule so its not longer a must to stay in anymore... WEEEE!!! heez... alright lah... guess thats all i have... u guys enjoy the week ahead and i will update u all more when i got the chance then... Cheers!!!

Wet

Sunday, April 03, 2005

fun day at zhongxi bday

hey there pple, hehe... juz got back from zhongxi little birthday party, so tot i blog about it before i head to bed.... Anyway, its been a really fun day, at least for the second half of the day, woke up at about 10 this morning, then slack about at home till about 3 then met up with sherine and gang (zhongxi and allison) at heartland mall, got some drinks and stuff before actually proceeding to the area, which is at the garden at bishan, took a cab down, and zhong xi being the host paid the bill, heez.... when we got there... we looked for the pit and settled down and started organzing the stuff around... after which at about 5 we set up the fire and waitied for ah tom (as he washolding to all the bbq essential stuff) bus he only arrived at about 5.45 so once he got here we had to add some char coal before starting the actual bbq.. by then zhong xi poly mates nd some of her sec classmates was already here... was kinda made chef of the day, so was doing most of the bbqing... heez... then slowy the crowd starts to arrived.... then when the crowd was more or less assembled, we cut the cake, funny thing was zhong xi was made to blow out trick candles which litght up after it distingushed... so funny to see him do it.. haha... after that... they took a few picture then his parents went home, and that is when the fun actually starts... heez.... first attack... cake on the face, asked him over for a photo session, then when count to three had i landed a piece of the cake on zhongxi face... was dame funny... heez.. and pretty evil i would say.. but i like... [evil grinz], second blow was the most effective, as me, zhi sheng brian and ah tom took him by the limps and dunped him into the pool, all his frens did was took photos... lolx... so funny... and he kana not once but twice... heez... we felt the first was not enough and wasn't far enough... so he went in the second time...heez.. after that was a series of drinking with him till he cannot tahan.. haha and he really didn'take it... puking eventually, not that i am happy that he puke, but at least it was a memorable day for him.. juz wan to wish him a very happy birthday, i finished the rest of the volka so ya.. was alright... head abit heavy though... had a few photo taking session, with xiu, sherine and all, was really fun , then when we got back to the pit, zhong xi was already down, so i left with sherine and anne (her fren), touch off at boon keng where anne stayed and took the NEL home, not forgetting to take a photo with anne before we leave... hee so fun... overall its been a great day.. heez... hope u guys have as much fun as i did... can't wait to see the photos so post it up fast k... heez... tink i am going to call it a night soo... tml i am having a parade in orchard so if u have time come supprt ok... will be marching down from hereen to istana at about 3 plus... so hope to see u guys... heez.... ciaoz.. and night... Happy birthday ZHONG XI!!!

here are some photos...



Me setting up the fire



Me and birthday boi with the volka that got him drunk



Me and sherine and a Rome alike background heez..



Me and sherine reliving childhood days...



Me and anne (sherine close fren)